Out of order...

I will be out of pocket for a few days. It may be Sunday before I can post again. I am doing this one from my phone, so updates may be rare...

--
-=[Ignorance is bliss...]=-

I AM ChuCK_AmuCK!

Hey pizano...

LOL I forgot all about this classic video. Having lived in Italy... yea, it can be that bad...

End of the world...

Another classic video that has come back to visit us... :-) kinda SFW... language...

Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya...

As a follow up to a previous post of mine Why not Minot? I'll tell you why not...

Looks like it didn't take long for a changing of the guard. Maybe this will teach them that nukes aren't toys and you really should treat them with a bit of respect...

The top military and civilian leaders of the U.S. Air Force were forced out Thursday over the handling of nuclear weapons, the Defense Department secretary said. Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Michael Moseley and Secretary Michael Wynne have stepped down.

Chief of Staff Gen. T. Michael Moseley and Secretary Michael W. Wynne resigned over the department's concern over two incidents, including the August flight of a B-52 bomber that flew across the country with nuclear weapons.
"Focus of the Air Force leadership has drifted" in terms of handling nuclear weapons and equipment, Defense Secretary Robert Gates said.In
August, a B-52 bomber flew from North Dakota to Louisiana with the crew unaware that six nuclear-tipped missiles were on board. Four officers were relieved of duty afterward, including three colonels.Gates also cited this year's discovery that components designed to arm and fuse nuclear warheads were accidentally shipped to Taiwan in 2006. Critics also cite last month's news that the Air Force's 5th Bomb Wing failed a defense "nuclear surety" inspection -- despite having months to prepare and being under close scrutiny after the previous incidents. The inspection found deficiencies in the wing's ability to protect its part of the nation's nuclear stockpile.

Damn bus is running late again...

In what would seam mean is actually quite ingenious. A German nursing home as a quick and easy solution to keep ahlzimers patients from running off. Lie to them. Well, kinda...

The idea was first tried at Benrath Senior Centre in Düsseldorf, which pitched an exact replica of a standard stop outside, with one small difference: buses do not use it. The centre had been forced to rely on police to retrieve patients who wanted to return to their often non-existent homes and families. Then Benrath teamed up with a local care association called the "Old Lions". They went to the Rheinbahn transport network which supplied the bus stop. "It sounds funny but it helps," said Franz-Josef Goebel, the chairman of the "Old Lions" association. "Our members are 84 years old on average. Their short-term memory hardly works, but the long-term memory is still active. "They know the green and yellow bus sign and remember that waiting there means they will go home."

Can I have two boobs with my coffee?

Hi, my name is ChuCK. I'm addicted to coffee... (this is where everyone reading says hi ChuCK) lol
Yes, it's almost that bad. In my world, I don't keep track of how much coffee I drink by cups. I used liters as a unit of measurement. That's no joke. Those who know me have seen me knock back a cup every 8 minutes of the first 3 hours of my day. So you may be asking yourself, what does this have to do with boobs? EVERYTHING! Well, that is if you get your coffee at Cowgirls Espresso. You see, just like every other hard core coffee drinker, I'm getting tired of paying friggin $5 a cup at the ::insert favorite coffee place here::. Now, if I had a Cowgirls Espresso near me... 5 bucks isn't that bad...

Welcome to Cowgirls Espresso!

Howdy! We're the gals of Cowgirls Espresso, and we're here everyday to serve you up the finest coffee beverages out here in the Ol' West! With six locations in the greater Seattle/Tacoma area, we offer up the very best in Espresso beverages, including lattes, mochas, and our famous 32 ounce Buckin' Bronco.

Here is the link if you don't believe me... pics, menus, and everything. Only NSFW if bikinis are an issue...

http://www.cowgirlsespressonw.com/

"uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?"

In what I picture in my disturbed head to be a wonderful re-creation of the Star Wars "jail break" scene, thieves in British Columbia Canada may have gotten away with a perfect crime. During the late night operations to infiltrate the museum, when alarms started to go off, a phone call was received at the security desk that everything is fine and to ignore the alarms.... SO THEY DID! Wow, takes all kinds doesn't it?

An experienced jewelry thief may have hoodwinked the University of British Columbia's campus security by telling them to ignore security alarms on the night of last month's multi-million dollar heist at the Museum of Anthropology, CBC News has learned.
Four hours before the break-in on May 23, two or three key surveillance cameras at the Museum of Anthropology mysteriously went off-line.Around the same time, a caller claiming to be from the alarm company phoned campus security, telling them there was a problem with the system and to ignore any alarms that might go off.Campus security fell for the ruse and ignored an automated computer alert sent to them, police sources told CBC News.

Cop:"Have you been drinking sir?" Guy:"I'm sitting on a cooler, what do YOU think..."

In the finest tribute to George Jones to come along in a long time, a gentleman in Whitehall New York has done a fine job. He didn't get all liquored up and drive around the countryside on a riding lawn mower like 'ol possum, but he did ride his ice chest. Damn, gotta go hunt one of these down for myself...

A Whitehall man learned that on Memorial Day, when he was charged with driving while intoxicated after police pulled him over for swerving and driving on the sidewalk on a four-wheeled, motorized cooler known as a "Cruzin Cooler."The electricity-powered Cruzin Cooler that Marr was riding contained 14 beers, the chief said.LaChapelle said Whitehall Police Patrolman Andrew Mija stopped Marr at about 7:45 p.m. after the officer saw Marr swerving and preparing to cross William Street on the motorized cooler.The machine has handlebars, and its operator sits on a seat atop the cooler, LaChapelle said."We were told it can do up to 12 mph," the chief said.

Ooooooooo you're going to hell for that one...

I understand that thieves in general are pretty friggin stupid. The ones you never hear about? Well, those are the smart ones, cause they never get caught. In this case, when they make national news for me to make fun of... you have earned the right to be called a dumbass. Even more so in this case. Tip from the smart thieves...if your gonna steal stuff... make sure your NOT going to incur the wrath of the all mighty God when you do it...

Thieves who stole an 8-foot statue of Jesus Christ off a crucifix in Detroit may have been seeking copper to sell as scrap. Problem is, it's made of plaster. The Rev. Barry Randolph said Wednesday that the statue at the Church of the Messiah is green and looks like copper, one of several metals coveted by thieves because of soaring scrap prices.

Time... there is just no time...

To make a point about my time issues today... This post is coming to you from my phone...

Pressed ham anyone?

I swear... I can't make this shit up.... Mooning has been a pastime of adolescent males for generations. Call it what you want. Pressed ham, blue moon, ass crack flash, vertical smile...to expose one's buttocks to others as a prank or disrespectful gesture... This one just happened to go wrong...

A police statement says the man and two others had run down a street in Utrecht with their pants pulled down in the back "for a joke."It says that at one point the 21-year-old "pushed his behind against the window of a restaurant" that broke and resulted in "deep wounds to his derriere."

Top 11 Signs You're on a Summer Vacation with a Geek

From BBSpot

11. The GPS unit sounds an awful lot like Majel Barrett.
10. Spend more time on the free wi-fi at the hotel looking up places to visit than actually visiting them.
9. The luggage has a million tiny feet and is virtually indestructible.
8. You get to your destination on the back of a griffon.
7. No sunblock needed because wookiee costume covers up all bare skin.
6. Driver stops at any roadside attraction mentioned in Weird Al's "Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota."
5. More than one person has to use their asthma inhaler after yelling "Road Trip! Woohoo!"
4. The people on Flickr get to see your vacation photos before you do.
3. All the museums have "science", "space" or "tech" in their names.
2. You stop more often to refill on coffee than gas.
1. The gadgets in your cargo pants are worth more than the plane you're flying in.

Hello? Anyone reading this?

Looks like another institution of society is starting to go down the tubes. The days of being a kid and picking up a paper route to make some cash are quickly drying up. I personally enjoy sitting in the back yard as my coffee seeps steam into the cool morning sunrise while my news paper rustles in the early day's breeze... Guess I'm gonna have to head to the store and get it though cause these damn kids are too friggin lazy to bring it to me!

Stefan Wojciechowski, head of news and magazines at the NFRN, says while no exact figures are available, it is estimated anything up to a third of all independent newsagents have given up home delivery in the past five to seven years. There's competition from supermarkets and convenience stores, people are commuting such distances that they leave the house before delivery is possible, and newspaper sales themselves are in long term decline.But most of all an absence of paperboys is causing newsagents pain."Kids don't want to do paper rounds because of increasing pocket money and other ways of earning money," Mr Wojciechowski says.

Hey, could I get some more butter over here...

I'm not in to animal cruelty in any way, but damn it... sometimes you get a craving for a good mean. In this case, it's lobster. Now I really dig this fruit of the sea. Hell, if given the chance I would eat it for every meal. Looks like beyond the fact that people are having to pay for gas instead of eating PETA wants you to know that lobsters are unfairly treated. Return comment? "Then eat me instead!"

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has sent a proposal to the Somerset County commissioners to lease their jail for the world’s first Lobster Empathy Center.

The central Maine county is constructing a new jail and has put the century-old jail in downtown Skowhegan up for sale. The Realtor handling the sale called the offer "likely a publicity stunt."

"A prison is the perfect setting to demonstrate how lobsters suffer when they are caught in traps or confined to cramped, filthy supermarket tanks," PETA wrote in a June 2 letter to the commissioners. "The center will teach visitors to have compassion for these interesting, sensitive animals while also commemorating the millions of lobsters who are ripped from their homes in the ocean off the coast of Maine each year before being boiled alive."

Poor poor lobster.... GET IN MAAAAHHH BELLEEEAAAA!!!

The lord has spoken... Ford is better than Chevy...

Yes I am from Texas. Yes I own a gun. Yes I drink. Yes I like country hillbilly music... No I don't drive a Ford, but you know what? Jesus does and that's all that counts. Now, I'm not a church going man, but I would have to pay a visit to this lords house on a regular basis! LOL

Thank you Menopausal Mick for this great find lol. It's going on my iPod!

Here honey, it's just a knife...

The "yer a dumbass" of the day is a real winner. This jackass' defense (hope I spelled defense right lol) is that the woman he had just stabbed "walked" into the knife... yea sure pall, and your weenie slipped into your roommates ass on accident while you were wrestling...

Police were called to a Pierce Avenue home early Sunday on a report that a woman accidentally walked into a knife. Upon arrival, officers found the woman bleeding from the abdomen, and her boyfriend claiming that they had been “horsing around” and that the woman walked into a knife lying on a counter. No further details were provided. An investigation is ongoing.

Yup, your a dick... says so right here...

This one is pretty good. To think, you now have the ability to look up your favorite celebrity asshat and find out why they are total pricks... What Wiki look alike will they come up with next...

NSFW only due to the web URL.

http://www.dickipedia.org/

Yumm, I love the taste of metal...

I actually caught this one last week while eating breakfast with Mrs. AmuCK. Both of us just sat there and stared at the screen in total amazement. I know I married the right woman because she looked at me and said "Sometimes natural selection isn't such a bad idea after all, I hope they stopped and only had one kid." Ahhhh that's my girl. Anyways, the story we were awe struck was about a young girl who ate several steel balls and magnets. She is 8 years old... Now, I'm not saying that all 8 year olds know not to put things in their mouths, but there comes a point where if you are THAT stupid... well, I'll let you read for yourself...

An eight-year-old Indiana girl swallowed 30 magnets and steel balls from a toy last month and, her father says, needed emergency surgery to save her from what doctors told him were eight gunshot or stab-like holes in her intestines. Haley Lents told Early Show co-anchor Maggie Rodriguez Monday she ingested the ten magnets and 20 steel balls because they "looked like candy." Haley's father, Jason Lents, told CBS News he "really" doesn't understand how Haley could have consumed the parts, because she "gets A's and B's, and we taught her not to do stuff like this."

Yup, you read it right... she gets A's and B's so that makes her smart enough not to eat metal... I am really happy that she is alright. Nothing bothers me more than a child in distress, but DAMN girl...

Dude, she's hot, pass the ass cream...

Of all the friggin things you can do to impress the ladies, in my humble opinion, putting ass-ring cream on your chest is not one of them. Apparently there is a new "fad" out there in the club scene. It involves the rubbing of Preparation-H on their chest to "tighten" them up so they look cut. Maybe I'm getting old, but ANYTIME you mention that particular medicine, my first thought isn't dancing the night away with the chickies...

New York bouncer, blogger and author Rob Fitzgerald has noticed a trend among many of the macho young men waiting outside his clubs. He says the guys are slathering up their torsos with the hemorrhoid cream Preparation H to make themselves look "ripped" for the ladies.

Fitzgerald asked one of these guys to describe the practice for his blog, Clublife, "The way you use it is to take your shirt off and rub it all over yourself before you go to the club," a man who gave the alias, Peter Minichiello, says. "If you want to get [lucky], you have to know how to dance, and if you want girls to dance with you, you have to look ripped."

I'm not jumping, me either... ummm the plane is crashing... CYA!

In Greensburg, Indiana a group of skydivers got exactly what they wanted. A reason to jump. Not that they really needed one in the first place, but sure sounds cool when you tell the story while drinking beer...

Authorities in Indiana Monday were investigating an incident in which a pilot crash-landed his ailing plane just after his load of skydivers got out safely.The small plane had 14 skydivers on board, including a pair of first-timers, when it developed engine trouble Sunday while flying near Greensburg, Ind., WISH-TV in Indianapolis reported. The plane descended from 7,000 to 5,000 feet where the pilot was able to level it off enough for the skydivers to jump out, sheriff's deputies said.

The pilot rode the plane on in, flipping it on landing. He made it out without a scratch.

Are these balls salty to you?

I can honestly say that I have a pretty diverse pallet when it comes to food. Cooking being a hobby, I love to experiment, try new things, and take the "leap of faith" when eating... but I would have to pass on this festival. Don't think I could sit there while some one is yelling for more fried giggle berries to eat. I don't care if the beer is free or not...

"Welcome to the Black Gold Cattle Company's eighth annual Testicle Festival," says the rodeo announcer over the loud speaker. "Come and have a ball." The pun, of course, is intended. No need to blush or shake a conservative head. The two-day event which ended Saturday pays tribute to cowboy traditions and raises almost $30,000 for charity, said organizer Kalon Downing. Cornia said during branding time, it is customary to neuter the young bulls. In years past, rather than throwing out the "swinging beef" the delicacy was enjoyed by family and friends. "It was considered a treat, since they only got it once a year," said Cornia. "Of course, you probably wouldn't want to eat it more than that." For this year's festival, 250 pounds of Rocky Mountain Oysters were purchased from a Salt Lake City packing plant. The meat is prepared and cooked by the official "NutSpecialist," which include Downing's father, Hardy, as well as long-time Woodruff residents Ors Cornia and Pete Mower.

Why is it that Forest Gump comes to mind...

Like I was sayin', nut is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, nut-kabobs, nut creole, nut gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple nut, lemon nut, coconut nut, pepper nut, nut soup, nut stew, nut salad, nut and potatoes, nut burger...

Thats some good shit man...

Where do these people come up with this crap. I give him 8 points for originality, but you have to be a friggin idiot to think your not going to get busted. Rule number 1, DON'T SMOKE YOUR OWN STASH!

The pot is for compost, not consumption.That was the excuse Matthew Aaron Furnish offered Iowa City Police early Saturday morning when they caught him with what officers described as several bags of marijuana — some gallon sized and some larger.

Furnish's explanation apparently did not pass the smell test for police. He was arrested and charged with possessing 50 kilograms or less of marijuana with intent to distribute.He is being held in Johnson County Jail on a $14,000 cash bond, and could face up to five years in prison and a fine of $7,500.

Yummy I taste so good!

ROFL I could friggin watch this OVER and OVER again lololol I know it's old, but DAMN IT!!!! ROFL LMFAO LOL

Awwww did I hurt your feelings?

This is why I keep everything light hearted around here. I understand that some people use blogs to vent, rant, rave, get pissed off, and even attack... Why the hell do that where there are SOOOOOooo many other things online to post about. Remember, blogs aren't secret diary's that only get read when stolen. So, it looks like another "blogger" was nailed to the wall for what they wrote about someone...

Calling someone a douchebag on the Internet usually doesn't result in much in the way of major consequences. That is unless, of course, you're in high school and the douchebag in question is a school official. In the case of Lewis S. Mills High School senior Avery Doninger, the use of the d-word on her blog resulted in her losing her position as class secretary—something that she and her mother believe is unfair and a violation of her First Amendment rights. Unfortunately for the Doningers, the courts have thus far sided with the school's decision. The US Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit upheld a lower court decision yesterday, saying that while it was sympathetic to Avery's plight, the school did not violate her constitutional rights.

The Court of Appeals noted that adults may have a constitutional right to use vulgar or offensive speech in order to make a point, but that it "may legitimately give rise to disciplinary action by a school" if a school is responsible for "teaching students the boundaries of socially appropriate behavior."

I will add this fine set of lyrics from Mike Muir and Rocky George of Suicidal Tendencies...

Can you say "feel like shit"?
Yea maybe sometimes I do feel like shit
I ain't happy 'bout it,
but I'd rather feel like shit than be full of shit!
And if I offended you, oh I'm sorry...
But maybe you need to be offended
But here's my apology and one more thing...f**k you!

Willing to bet that's how she felt...

Honest, it's for home defense...

I have to admit, I do own a firearm. I would also use it if needed. Not that I relish shooting in anger, but if the need arises, I have no doubt that I can defend myself and my family. Well, there happens to be a gentleman in Germany that feels the same way... he just happens to have a bigger gun. Does size really matter? In this case yes...

Police discovered the flak cannon, used by the German Wehrmacht in the Second World War, after conducting a search on a family home in the German state of Saxony-Anhalt. The 49-year-old resident was in possession of 200 illegal firearms, one kilogramme of explosives, and 15,000 rounds of ammunition. The anti-aircraft cannon was resting where a car would normally park.

Don't worry, the shock treatment isn't permanent...

WTF is wrong with these people. On one hand I can commend them for their efforts in raising awareness. On the other hand, who the hell is going to pay for the therapy needed to put these kids back together after taking their brains and putting them in a blender...

Many juniors and seniors were driven to tears – a few to near hysterics – May 26 when a uniformed police officer arrived in several classrooms to notify them that a fellow student had been killed in a drunken-driving accident.The officer read a brief eulogy, placed a rose on the deceased student’s seat, then left the class members to process their thoughts and emotions for the next hour.The program, titled “Every 15 Minutes,” was designed by Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Its title refers to the frequency in which a person somewhere in the country dies in an alcohol-related traffic accident.About 10 a.m., students were called to the athletic stadium, where they learned that their classmates had not died. There, a group of seniors, police officers and firefighters staged a startlingly realistic alcohol-induced fatal car crash. The students who had purportedly died portrayed ghostly apparitions encircling the scene.

Exhibit A: Kong's Donkey Dildo...

It's bad enough that everyone's lives are no longer private. With youtube, facebook, myspace, and the mainstream media isn't holding back either, everything we do is just beckoning to be seen by the world. How would you feel if all your sex toys were thrown out on a table to be displayed? Ummm honest... that's not mine... I'm holding it for a friend?

A Montgomery County detective, while testifying yesterday in the death-penalty murder trial of Mark Patrick O'Donnell, rummaged through a box of pornographic movies, aphrodisiacs and exotic sex toys that belonged to the victim's mother. Judge William J. Furber, who is presiding over the nonjury trial, nodded stoically as the detective displayed a vibrator, purple anal beads, a bottle of "pleasure-enhancing lubricant," a videotape titled "Big Bad Biker Bitches" and a mysterious sex device with wires coming out of it.

I bet I can fit my peter in that...

Today's "yer a dumbass" award goes to a gentleman in Australia. He thought it would be a good idea to stick the 'ol wang noodle in a bunch of washers... METAL washers. Well, when the giggle stick got stuck in the little metal holes he ended up having to go to the hospital to get them removed. Hat's off sir, your award is on it's way...

A man was operated on in Hornsby Hospital with fire brigade equipment early today to remove 16 stainless steel washers from his penis.Berowra Fire Rescue officers were called to alleviate the man from his awkward predicament at 3am.It was not clear how the situation arose. Fire Rescue Officers spent more than an hour unsuccessfully attempting to remove the washers, before the man was taken into an operating theatre about 4.30am.Surgeons took about 90 minutes to remove the washers using fire brigade equipment.

Why does it have to be about color huh?

This one is right out of the book of odd crap. You would think that we have come a long way in the world of racial diversity...so if we have, why are people setting up a booth at a local market called "Meet a Black Guy"? I can see the prim and proper mother now... hands on her knees leaning over to speak to her bewildered child... "OK honey, now don't be startled. That is what we call a black person. No it doesn't rub off, it's OK, they like it that way." WTF is this world coming too...

The booths at the Saturday Corvallis Farmers’ Market have a wild mix of fresh produce, tasty food, plants and flowers.But this week, a table just outside the bazaar offered something more bizarre — “Meet a Black Guy.”Those who participated in the free service could chat with 21-year-old Corvallis resident Jeff Oliver, and get pictures taken with him.“It’s a statement about diversity in Corvallis. It’s not a very diverse place,” said Oliver, a lifelong Oregonian. He hoped to promote understanding, break stereotypes and perhaps even provide a comedic moment for hundreds of people strolling along the riverfront.

AHHHHCHOOO!!!! Damn Wi-Fi again...

Another round of "I though I had heard it all" has been blowing through. Apparently, there are some people out in Santa Fe, New Mexico that think they are allergic to Wi-Fi... Yup, you read that right. Wireless networks are supposedly causing health issues... uhhhhhh suuuuureeeee...

One Santa Fe resident told local TV station KOB-TV that Wi-Fi and the electromagnetic fields it radiates are causing him severe discomfort and that he's stumping to ban Wi-Fi signals in public buildings because he and others are allergic to the radio waves.
"I get chest pain," Arthur Firstenberg told the TV station. "It doesn't go away right away. I suffer for a couple of days." Firstenberg, 57, added: "If I walk into a room of a building that has Wi-Fi, my most immediate sign is that the front of my right thigh goes numb. If I don't leave, I'll get short of breath, chest pains and the numbness will spread."