As for me being missing...

Well, what can I say... I just got too damn busy. Like all of the other "bloggers" out there. Not to mention most of the distractions of the coming and going fads of social networks with Myspace, Face Book, or Twitter... I'm sure the next one will be called Queue. (If that's not taken, it's mine damn it!) Not that I do anything on any of those sites, but if I wanted to... I could blame it. Actually the truth be told... I got lazy. Yup... lazy. That's right, I said it! All in all life has been pretty damn busy in itself. I'm hoping to get some time off soon, since I worked right through Christmas... and most likely New Years. I don't even have anything to do with retail... yet my ass is working. Go figure. Anyways, with all of that being said, I will do my best to post more often... I hope... maybe?

Schnitt Acht

Ok, now as I have been continuing my trip down memory lane, I came across this video. I can't even begin to explain the memories it brings back...

It's ok, it's perfectly natural...

LMAO OHHHH GOD... .LOLOL OMG I CAN;T EBEN TYPE LOOLRKLL

Since we are on the subject...

LOL ok, I know it's old... but damn it... nothing funnier than a fart...

YouTube

Well, that time has come when I have given in to peer pressure... I have a YouTube account. I haven't uploaded anything yet, jut made a couple of playlists and sharing what I like of whats out there...

http://www.youtube.com/user/IamChuCKAmuCK

PSA (Public Serivce Announcment)

We (and by we, we mean I) at the AWBMC (A Whole Bowl of the Mighty ChuCK) feel as though the GOP (Gallant Old Party, also known as the republican party) and the DEMS (the democratic party) are taking advantage of the people with ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). They are abusing the attention span of most of us who suffer from it, most now developing into TS (Tourette's syndrome), by flashing all of this information too fast. We (again we mean I), feel as those they can all GFT (go f**k themselves). Thank you for your attention during this message.

OMG BUY IT FOR ME!!!

ok, i will officially be starting a ChuCK needs this fund... and first on the list is this!!! its a limited edition Beatlers iPod !!! for those who know me... yes i LOVE my Zune... come on it's only $795... but this is the Beatles damn it!! http://www.bloomingdales.com

A-HA decoded...

LOL can't take a trip to the 80's without including this classic....

...how the hell does a man reach that note without a wrench to the nuts...

Tears for fears... decoded...

LOL

Was that fast? Come on, you can tell me... was that fast?

This one goes out to my pops... He is a classic wheel gun, single action, do you feel lucky punk kind of guy. Although... I'm willing to bet he has already seen this one lol

ROCK ON!!! With your bad self?

Lord help me... this is a sure sign that the world may be coming to an end. All kidding aside... he is almost good... lol

hats off for this one lol

Bullshit.... or not....

that has to be one of my favorite parody lines from a movie. the movie was amazon women from the moon. a cult classic at this point, completely mindless, but DAMN funny.... well... at times. anyways, here is a clip from where i got the title of this post...




LOL ok and now for my take... this is a video of a guy who CLAIMS he has traveled to the future... and met himself... under his sink? you decide...

If the thorn crown doesn't fit, you must acquit..

so i'm reading through my news... which has stacked up quite a bit in my absence and i came across a real gem. it would appear that the lord all mighty has been sued. that's right... god has been called to court. listen... i can;t make this kind of shit up, even in my unstable mental state...

Nebraska Court Throws Out Lawsuit Against 'God'

October 15, 2008 CHRISTOPHER BURBACH

You can't sue God if you can't serve the papers on him, a Douglas County District Court judge has ruled in Omaha.

Judge Marlon Polk threw out Nebraska Sen. Ernie Chambers' lawsuit against the Almighty, saying there was no evidence that the defendant had been served. What's more, Polk found "there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant."

Chambers had sued God in September 2007, seeking a permanent injunction to prevent God from committing acts of violence such as earthquakes and tornadoes.

The senator said today that he is considering an appeal of Polk's ruling.

"It is a thoughtful, well-written opinion," Chambers said. "However, like any prudent litigator, I want to study it in detail before I determine what my next course of action will be."

Polk dismissed the lawsuit with prejudice, which means it can't be refiled. But his ruling can be appealed.

Although the case may seem superfluous and even scandalous to others, Chambers has said his point is to focus on the question of whether certain lawsuits should be prohibited.

"Nobody should stand at the courthouse door to predetermine who has access to the courts," he said. "My point is that anyone can sue anyone else, even God."

Chambers, a political independent who has served in the Nebraska Legislature for 38 years, said he decided to make that point after at least two attempts by other senators in the Legislature to limit "frivolous lawsuits."

"I was able to fend them off," Chambers said. "A lawsuit is not frivolous until a court declares it so."

The senator did have a day in court on the case. In August, he argued that Polk should take judicial notice of the existence of God. The senator cited the facts that U.S. currency says "In God We Trust," God is invoked during oaths in court hearings, and chaplains offer prayers before legislative bodies.

"If God is omnipresent," Chambers said in that August hearing, "then he is here in Douglas County and in this courtroom." Polk was not persuaded.

His Tuesday ruling said Chambers' motion to take judicial notice of God "is denied as moot."

Excuse me, are you done with that?

to say that my observations of the world are a bit jaded is an understatement. i guess it comes from years of mental abuse and anguish, self inflicted of course, as my brain becomes a juicy pile of mush. i often wonder if it's the simple things that make me interested, or the fact that i really do enjoy the simple things and the fact that most people ignore them. what a cerebral quagmire that is... for instance, i am completely enamoured of the fact that street signs have a reflective property that is explosive at the right angle when light hits it at night. almost like looking into the eyes of a cat when the pupil is wide open. anyways, to return to my jaded views, i was sitting down enjoying a cup of coffee, when i overheard an interesting conversation. now, i am not one to listen in to a private exchange, but sometimes i just can;t tune it out. i will hear 4 maybe 5 things all at once... almost to the tune of insanity when in public places... as i was saying, this conversation felt as though it were a bit of vocal bait... beckoning someone to snatch it up and run with it. however, i resisted. it was a swirl of hidden relationships, faithless love, and how money was the solution to all of their problems. the gentleman to my left however... bad move. he of course in the smug sense of self riotousness spouted out words of wisdom, coating it with his own personal facts. i'm thinking to myself, ummmmmm mr. jackass of self invitation, please step back from your own reality for a second and realize that, although impressive to see, putting your foot in your mouth all the way to your ass is not a good first impression. even as they break away from contact with each other to watch this master of life spin his web... you could tell something was out of sorts. the young man, now ripped from his concentration of the woman across from him, was almost disgusted at the fact that this walking wall of wisdom has intruded on their personal space. the young lady however bursts into laughter... not phasing our rock or worldly experience. he continued to lecture on relationships and how temptation can ruin a soul... but trailing off he was snapped back... now understanding that his intrusion was most definitely uncalled for... why do you ask...

the young couple collected up the papers that were scrambled across the table in front of them... the script that they were rehearsing for a college play... only in life can you be the bastion of intelligence, the savior, and the primordial soup of stupidity all in the same moment. isnt life grand.

Ten years gone...

I have to say, one of my favorite Zeppelin song of all time. Well, I came across this cover... simply amazing...

Thank you board of edu... wtf did I just step in...

I haven't written about the news in a while... but I couldn't pass this one up. Apparently in Peyton Colorado there is absolutely nothing to do in your spare time... except thinks of things to do with poop. So, why not integrate it into the education system, so that the fine children of your community will learn to respect it. HUH?!?!?! WTF?!?!?!?!

A Peyton, Colo., elementary school principal has apologized to parents and teachers for a "lesson" that involved students looking inside a bag of human waste. Peyton Elementary Principal Michael Auclaire said Tuesday the incident Monday was the result of frustration he and the school's janitorial staff felt at the reoccurring messes in the bathroom frequented by fourth and fifth grade girls, The (Colorado Springs) Gazette reported Thursday. He said the intention of having the children don gloves and look inside the bag of feces and urine was to help the children understand that it is inappropriate to defecate on the floor or toilet seats of the bathroom. However, he conceded that having the children handle the bag "was not the best thing to do."

Ok, let me get this strait... janitors are complaining about cleaning up a bathroom. I'm pretty sure this is where people get told, if you don't want to clean up after someone, get a different job! Ohh ohh better yet... if you would have payed more attention in SCHOOL you wouldn't be cleaning the toilets at one. Well, at least that's what my school counselor always told me...
So, back to the point, you think that by making a kid play with a bag of shit you are going to fix the problem? Hope you don't have any flaming bags of crap sitting on your front porch this weekend... because honestly, they are only going to be emulating those that influence their lives every day... Mr nasty ass fecalfeliac poop lover... hope the bag spills in your desk you sicko.

Podcast!

Well, looks like I'm going to take yet another step in the world of speaking my mind. I will soon start doing an audio podcast. Once I get all the kinks worked out, not only will I make an ass out of myself with the written word... everyone can see how much I sound like an idiot as well. I might even do a weekly videocast as well. Not to sure on that one, I would need to work out a "set" of sorts as a back drop. I'm hoping to get my first one out soon. Right now I'm working on the format that I would use, such as content, music, and how long it will actually be. So stay tuned, I'm coming soon to a sound card near you!
Unless you are using an iPod... then it would be coming soon to your earbuds.... but then again, you could be using speakers with it... or, you might be using a Zune like me, which the only difference is the fact that it's not an Apple device... then the same sound device would apply....


...never mind

What makes a fan...

Fan. Short for fanatic. A person marked or motivated by an extreme, unreasoning enthusiasm, as for a cause. The use of the word "fan" is kicked around with regularity these days. Sports, movies, books.... people... When you boil it down though, a fan or fanatic could be pretty derogatory. Try it some time. Call someone a fanatic. They will probably react as if you were calling them a flag hating war monger just wanting to kill people... call them a fan, they might proudly display a tattoo of a team logo while singing a song. The subtle key is how you use the word in most cases.

The reason I bring up this point is due to a discussion I had with a co-worker the other day. It all started with a txt message saying "I'm almost ashamed to be watching this game..." For those of you who don't know, I’m a pretty big football fan. It doesn't matter if it’s high school, college, or the NFL... I will watch it. I have been known to be cruising down back roads and pull my truck over to watch a Friday night 2A school playing iron man football for nothing more than pride. Hmmmm, unreasoning enthusiasm... Anyways, I don't particularly get fired up over things. Sure I’m excitable, but I don’t go dressing up like character from movies, buy sound tracks because one song on it is from a band I like, or buy books just because person X wants to spill all over the New York Times their latest "send me money because I spoke" bound pile of paper. Adjusting my sideline team cap, the response hits the inbox on my phone... "Well, at least they scored... finally" This feeble attempt to make me feel good, was in fact a classic dig that the two of us share quite often. There tends to be a few unwritten rules among men... well at least as I see it. Wives/girlfriends are off limits, always offer to buy the first round, handshakes are as good as your signature, and insults are not personal, just good form. So I reply with a weak half hearted zing knowing full well the assault is on its way. At this point I am still on the edge of my chair yelling at the officials on my screen, standing up and cheering on the few good plays I see... and of course...proudly beating my jersey into my chest. Half time has past... adjustments made by the team are just not working. Text messages are flying into me like I was on the line during the battle of the bulge. Shells of insults blasting in my face, flashes of "you suck" are stinging my ear drums...

So to the point of what makes a fan... is it the passion? Is it simply pledging allegiance to a certain something? Is it stalking? I type this as two footballs sit to my left, visor on my head, team logo t-shirt on, coffee cup with the bold colors of the stadium shine, the team report playing in my ear on a pod cast, a picture of the teams cheerleaders peeking from behind this page on my screen's background......hmmm...shit.

My name is ChuCK_AmuCK. I am a fanatic. My Houston Texans lost on Sunday 38-17. No, it wasn't even that close. Yes I suck.

Thank you good sir... you will be missed...

In a sad announcement today, Jerry Reed passed away at the age of 71 from complications with emphysema. Aside from his light hearted way of life, his natural act in front of the camera, and unforgettable characters on screen... His music is what will last forever. Keep it east bound and down good buddy and ride that damn thing all the way to heaven! Gear jammers across the world, make way for the Snowman... he's on his way home...

Have you ever... (pt.2)

So to continue, I have also apparently been compared to a character by the name of Capt. Malcolm 'Mal' Reynolds played by Nathan Fillion in the Sci-Fi television show Firefly. Now I have to admit, I did like this show, so it was a bit of an ego boost to hear this one come up. Again, another sarcastic individual that just gets the job done... I'm starting to see a theme here...



Lastly, along with the list of smart assed go getters that I have already been compared to, there is this gentleman. The one... the only... Ferris Bueller. I guess it's from all those so called scams I pulled off in high school... I have no idea what those might have been. >:-) Pretty sure this one doesn't need a video hehehehe.

Have you ever...

While sitting down having a few Tecates with a bunch of friends, someone at the table said that I act like Dennis Leary when I get upset. They continued to compare some of my rants to his stand up calling out how that I cant help but make a vicious point without adding humor too it. Not to mention the apparent pace at which I dole out any said rant. Sadly... I kind of agree. So I have been taking a bit of a poll with those who know me in person... "If I were and actor or any other person in the public eye, who would you compare me too?"


First up... Jethro Gibbs (Mark Harmon) from NCIS
I have been told that my mannerism are quite similar to his, direct and to the point with a wicked twist of sarcasm, not to mention his love for coffee. I would say that it definitely rivals mine. I never really saw the correlation until I sat down one weekend and watched a few re-runs on t.v. Asking my self "Am I that much of an ass? Humm, guess I am."

Sad thing is, in certain circumstances I say "I'm sorry" quite often... hmmmm time to re-evaluate that lol.




Second is, well Dennis Leary. I think the video speaks for itself... and yes I have BLOWN up in a coffee shop like this... well before I knew this video existed lol (NSFW due to language)



I think we will make this one a multi part post... more to come :-)

Holy smoking double bogey Batman...

Don't you just hate it when you are in one of those funks. Well, I'm in one. I have never claimed to be a good golfer... but I'm alright. I was actually on the straight and narrow there for a while. Shooting in the high 80's low 90's... not bad all things considered. Lately though... as in the last 4 damn times I have gone out, oh it's horrid. Not just horrid, I would compare my golf game right now to something along the lines of what a baby would look like if Flavor Flav and Roseanne Barr had a kid with 4 legs. Oh yea... it's that bad. I have been slicing the hell out of everything. Far right, far right... toe it off to the damn right. So I have closed the club face a bit, made my hand positions on my grip a bit stronger, hell... I even tossed the ball up in the air and took a crack at it like it was a baseball... yup, sliced it too. On TOP of all of that, I haven't been able to clear my mind on the course. As soon as I address the ball, the land of a thousand thought come flying in. Everything from did I lock the truck to I wonder if there is air in the tires on my mountain bike.

Oh OH and get this... the most recent thing... my 20th high school reunion... yea... why THAT has been on my mind... I have no friggin clue. I even had a nightmare about it last night. I say nightmare, cause it sure as hell wasn't any fun. Everyone was all dressed up in nice cloths talking about the things that they do now... And here I am, in my cargo shorts, one of my many golf shirts and my Houston Texans visor on. One person (who will remain nameless) mentioned to me that they were in the cattle business. Striking my curiosity, I responded "Oh really? Angus, Brahman, Hereford?" In return I got "Well I don't know all about that stuff you just said, but I'm in the cattle business" (for those of you who don't know.... those are breeds) To top it all off, the damn reunion was in MY HOUSE! Oh I don't friggin think so... wanna see how fast ChuCK can throw people down the street? Invite all the people I went to high school with to my house and you will soon find out. Everything about that damn dream was wrong or demented. I'm sure there is some psycho babble theory out there that I have some hidden resentment about my life or I am questioning how well things are for me. Why that is, again, I don't know. I'm not the type of person that feels the need to keep up with the "guy next door". Buying new stuff just because I saw him walk in with a new T.V. or something. No need for that at all. As long as my family is taken care of, that is worth life itself. Well... in my book anyways...

So where does this leave me? I'll tell you where... a shitty golf game, no beer in the fridge, and a fear to sleep because the LAST thing I want to be reminded of is some of the people I went to school with. But hey, I am looking on the bight side. I have a 16 year black label scotch in the bar downstairs that is just smoking awesome. Mainly because the store I go to gave me a discount on it... because they said it was too old and from last Christmas. They didn't want it on the shelves anymore. Scotch... too old.... "You have any more in the back ma'am? I will be happy to take this nasty old firewater off your hands."

Best news all day...

In the best news I have heard ALL day long... Mark David Chapman was once again, denied parole. This is the 9th time he has been denied parole based on concerns for public safety and welfare. He will be eligible again to apply for parole in 2010. Continue to rot in prison you evil man.

For those of you who don't know, Chapman murdered John Lennon on December 8th, 1980. Lennon was shot 4 times while entering his apartment building with his wife Yoko Ono. Lennon was pronounced dead on arrival in the Emergency Room at the Roosevelt Hospital in New York at 11:15 p.m. after being transported there in the back of a police car.

Theme song...

I have often wondered what my theme song would be. Something that would describe who I am in the form of music and lyrics. Well, in digging through my collection I found one that just about sums it up... here it is...


The Charlie Daniels Band - Simple Man
I ain't nothin' but a simple man
They call me a redneck I reckon that I am
But there's things going on
That make me mad down to the core.

I have to work like a dog to make ends meet
There's crooked politicians and crime in the street
And I'm madder'n hell and I ain't gonna take it no more.

We tell our kids to just say no
Then some panty waist judge lets a drug dealer go
Slaps him on the wrist and then he turns him back out on the town.

Now if I had my way with people sellin' dope
I'd take a big tall tree and a short piece of rope
I'd hang 'em up high and let 'em swing 'til the sun goes down

Well, you know what's wrong with the world today
People done gone and put their Bible's away
They're living by the law of the jungle not the law of the land
The good book says it so I know it's the truth
An eye for and eye and a tooth for a tooth
You better watch where you go and remember where you been
That's the way I see it I'm a Simple Man.

Now I'm the kinda man that'd not harm a mouse
But if I catch somebody breakin in my house
I've got twelve guage shotgun waiting on the other side

So don't go pushing me against my will
I don't want to have to fight you but I damn sure will
So if you don't want trouble then you'd better just pass me on by

As far as I'm concerned there ain't no excuse
For the raping and the killing and the child abuse
And I've got a way to put an end to all that mess

Just take them rascals out in the swamp
Put 'em on their knees and tie 'em to a stump
Let the rattlers and the bugs and the alligators do the rest

You know what's wrong with the world today
People done gone and put their Bible's away
They're living by the law of the jungle not the law of the land
The Good Book says it so I know it's the truth
An eye for and eye and a tooth for a tooth
You better watch where you go and remember where you been
That's the way I see it I'm a Simple Man

More insight into the mind of ChuCK... (pt.6)

Well, this will be the finally stop on this long trip of no useful information. If you have been following this, you can tell that my tastes are all over the map. I will leave you now, short winded, with the final installment of music that meant something to me in my later teen years...




































Years have past...I listen to every style now

More insight into the mind of ChuCK... (pt.5)

I know I have left several out on the last one... but for a reason. Either I can't find them, but more likely there is just not enough time for me to dig them out. As I got older my taste in music, although it was still holding on to the past, had changed quite a bit. As with most things... age helped score a deeper shot with the music I listened too. It meant so much more to me... So here is a continuation that is VERY close to the same time period as the last part. This is where time starts to slow down in my musical history...





-I'm still sorry...

More insight into the mind of ChuCK... (pt.4)

Ok, fresh day, fresh set of music. I know the end of the last one kind of went south real quick. There were several things going on in the world, not to mention mine, that really drew me to experiment in the different kind of music that was out there. No, for those of you who know the real me, drugs were not involved lol. I would say that there are very few people on this planet that are not related to me that know the REAL me... and get it. Cosmo, my friend, you are one of them. Even through all my antics, acts of Don Juan-ism, and the fact that I swore it was ok for a girl to sit on your lap because there was no room in the car... every weekend... You have been there and I thank you. I still remember the day I met you, uncompromising then about who you are and to this day the same conviction is alive and well. NO he's not gay people, but if he were and I were... well, yea... I admit... I'd do him. LOL. Now that we have all the mushy stuff out of the way, the darker years of my life were rolling on. I was still listening to the same music matter of fact I was actually going back in time and listening to more of the stuff I heard on 8-Track and vinyl when I was younger... every now and then a current track snuck into my life. This is where I warn you that there is NO consistency in what I listened to or remember... we are rolling into my high school years people... hold on lol.





























Wow... that was an odd one to revisit lol I could have posted about 20 more... maybe next time.

Cosplay meet ChuCK... ChuCK, meet Cosplay. Ok WTF was that?!?!

Evening all, well it is for me anyways and I'm wore the hell out. So there is a special someone in my life that has been talking about San-Japan for a while now. For the uneducated like myself, San Japan is a non-profit group that holds yearly Japanese Culture and Anime Convention. So let me break this down for you, having just experiencing a whole day of it, it had more to do with dressing up in costume and buying a ton of Japanese Anime stuff. They definitely are holding a bit of creative liberty with the whole Japanese culture thing. There was only two booths that were, what I would call Japanese culture in nature. The rest were all figurines, books, and costumes.... So, anyways, we started our adventure driving to Downtown San Antonio. That in it's own rights is an entertaining experience. I hadn't been there in years, but my foggy memory got us to the right spot. The good thing is, once we parked it was pretty easy to find where we were going... because it looked like we had been dropped in the middle of a power hour on Cartoon Network. There were more colors of hair than there are colors in a Crayola box. Needless to say, my golf polo and visor I was wearing was a dead give away of the n00b in town. I stood in line for a bit for the registration and looked around wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into... There were people walking around with over sized 5 foot swords, a guy wearing a school girls skirt outfit (nasty ass hairy legs included), and several people that needed a bit more of their bodies covered up. For the better of 4 hours there was a burning of a rave beat drilled into my head from the blasting music while I was wandering around looking at everyone. Then off in the distance across the room there was a crowd looking at a group of people fighting... with cardboard. Sad thing is, one of the guys was about in tears because his sword that he had worked on for 5 hours bent and was constantly floppy. This is where I learned what Cosplay was first hand. Sure I had seen pictures on the net, seen videos on YouTube, hell even been told all about it by a good friend of mine... but it's something all together different when you see it first hand. They were absolutely sold that they were the actual characters they were dressed up as. Even to the tune of butchering the Japanese language... which felt odd when I corrected them. Kids to adults were all dressed up moving around the rooms like they were in a movie, some of them even crawling on the ground to stay "in character". As the day went on, the people showing up were almost in a battle of "one upmanship" to better the person next to them with their tricked out costumes. There was even a repair shop booth... that's right, a place to walk on up and get your gear and costume repaired on the spot! I'm in the wrong business because those guys were raking in the money. All in all it was an interesting day and we plan on making this an annual trip. I don't think that I will be dressing up anytime soon, but it was a lot of fun to watch people just enjoy themselves with no reservation. Outside of the freaky old guy with the camera taking pictures of skimpy dressed girls that were old enough to be his grand daughters, everyone was cool. I didn't like that guy much... and had no problem speaking my mind about it... I think this might be the start of a new game in life for me... called ChuCK_AmuCK was here! Notice the name on the badge? Damn right I did and no one even came close to trying to stop me...

More insight into the mind of ChuCK... (pt.3)

Damn, I need a TON more bandwidth, not to mention I'm sure I have bored the hell out of all my readers at this point. You know what? This is therapeutic damn it... hell, I MIGHT CRY! well... not really, but damn it I'M having fun with it lol Here are a few more from my early teens leading up to the point of ohhhhh about 15 years old or so.... give or take... it's kind of a blur lol









Yes, I memorized it lol
































The video that would have also been on this list is one by Skinny Puppy - Testure off the album "VIVIsectVI". Due to the graphic nature of this video...VERY GRAPHIC in my opinion... I have chosen to not include it in my trip. Now, if you chose to go look the video up, PLEASE keep in mind that Skinny Puppy at the time were massive activists against animal cruelty and quite vocal about it. This particular song was a protest song about the acts that were being conducted on animals and the video that was made for it... well... was banned pretty much everywhere for showing some of the heart wrenching surgeries that were conducted on these poor defenseless animals. Again, I am only mentioning this song because it made an impact on my life, but I NEVER want to see the video again...If you can't tell at this point... HUGE animal lover over here in the world of ChuCK.

This was the beginning of a pretty dark time in the life of ChuCK... Bust hey, I made it, cause I'm here typing this lol

More insight into the mind of ChuCK... (pt.2)

After going back and looking at some of those videos, I have to admit... I blended over into the early teen years as well. Not by much though. So to continue the journey, the next ones are from my early teens.... and I mean EARLY! Again... in no particular order... :-)

























... I can't even dram a couple of years into this post. There are so many more from the period.

More insight into the mind of ChuCK... (pt.1)

I was taken back today. I was thrown back into the pits of my mind, oh and it's a deep dark place let me tell you. People I know in person have referred to me as the human Google. Not because I scour the web, it's because of the real odd crap that I have stored in my brain... not to mention my attention span is a little rough sometimes. Case in point, I'm already off the subject. So, as I was saying, I was taken back today and most of my memories are tied to music. There were several phases I went through during my youth, so it's real hard to pin down one particular style. In the interest of separating my phases, I have decided to do my best digging to take a musical trip through my youth to share music that has been burned into my memories. Each song will represent a feeling, a moment, or even something as simple as I listened to it over and over again. In the first installment, the music will be stuff from my tween (as the psychobabble people say) type years... I'm not saying that I liked them then or even now, but when I hear them... they take me back. Good luck on this journey... and I'm sorry... yes, I'm damaged up in the 'ol noodle... lol































Ok, so this doesn't even come CLOSE to all of it... looks like the tween years will have a part two...

...and now Triumph!

LOL not safe for work at all considering the language. Some old, some new, and some that are instant classics...















and the classic...

Cream or sugar with that darling?

I’ve been reading through my normal barrage of websites, RSS feeds, and emails today and there is a common theme amongst most of what I’m looking at… its crap. The news is just about worthless, every single story is either an earth shattering news breaker about a cat stuck in a tree in the middle of a forest fire, prices of everything getting worse because the apocalypse is near, or the same old re-hash of a story that frankly… I’m tired of hearing. Email is even worse, when I fired up outlook today, 783 emails… I read half of one… half of a single email. I don’t want any more emails about forwarding it on to 10 people so that Jesus will help a child in a town that doesn’t exist. I’m all for helping people who are less fortunate, but do you really think that the son of God will show up because an email said so? If he does, then cool! Call Fox news or the United Press, but don’t tell me that someone will die because I don’t forward an email. I wonder what scripture in the good book covers chain email and threats of purgatory if you don’t use the forward feature within Outlook… Oh, and don’t even get me started on the RSS feeds, why do I even bother with those. Half the time they are never updated and when they are, you guessed it…. Crap. I don’t claim to say that what I write is any better, but come on. At least make the information worthwhile.

Whatever happened to the good news? Or a friendly letter in the mail asking how your summer or holiday was? Where did the visit to the corner diner for some coffee and a smoke go? When was the last time anyone ever just woke up, got dressed, grabbed a news paper at the corner stand, just to head into the local diner (not some chain money machine) to get a cup of coffee and TALK to another person about current events? Who cares if you even know the person, but damn it you were willing to listen to their views or story. Have we become a society so removed from the human element of interaction that we resort to staring at someone’s face with the tilted puppy dog look of confusion because we don’t see one of these " LMAO OMG :-) " attached to their forehead to know how they feel? Again, I’m not saying I’m innocent of these social crimes, but damn… I actually do enjoy sitting at a diner bar with a cup of coffee in hand sharing a conversation with a complete stranger. The stories you can hear… there is a passion within each and every one of us, begging to be let out. Some of us have stories of heroes, war, and fear… others of compassion, love, or heated lust. There is no such thing as an award winning writer… just a fellow human being who has found a way to share a tale with the masses. Just like some people say, if you are about to speak out, but are afraid to because those around you… you’re helping feed their fear of speaking out as well. Speak out. Stand up. Ask those questions. Share those stories. Complete strangers can be the most therapeutic ears in the world. They can’t judge based on any of your past. It doesn’t even exist, it never happened. But the now, the now is right in the face. BAM! There it is!

Often I wonder if what some cultures believe is true… about reincarnation. What if the body is just a shell for a traveling soul? Have I been shoved forward in time and the memories of a simpler time are slamming around in my mind’s eye? Does my soul yearn for something that is misses, is there something that was left behind? Or am I, as they say, old fashioned… would I even have the patients to write letters or WALK instead of drive somewhere if I had no other choice… If we do have souls that wonder from host body to the next, what is the point? Oh, see now I have done it… I have fallen into the trap door question of ‘what is the meaning of life’. Well, I’m not going there. It doesn’t matter anyways because I believe that once we figure it out, it’s too friggin late to share with others what you have learned. Not to mention, they wouldn’t listen anyways.

In a way I think I’m a blend of both, an old soul in a modern body that wants to experience the past it never had… if that even makes sense. I guess what I’m trying to get to is, do we have to be completely desensitized to everything that is around us due to the drive through society we live in. If someone fell while walking next to you would you laugh or help them up… this person you know nothing about who is down at the time… When was the last time a random person passing paths in a busy shop just said hello because you made eye contact… when was the last time you said hello first…

Updated...

'ChuCK's Words of Wisdom' has been changed...

That is all...

Damn it to hell...

So I'm rounding out the front 9 at the golf course I play at and I'm feeling good about my game. I opened the day with back to back pars so I was in a grove. Started to slide a bit with back to back bogies, but I'm still feeling it. The next three holes were a total disaster, so I won't go there. As I was saying, rounding out the front 9 pulling up to the 8th which is a deceiving par 4 coming in at about 395 off the blue tee. I had been hitting the driver well today, not great... sliced a couple, but for the most part right in the 260 range with a bit of a fade. Well, good 'ol number 8 takes a bit of a jack to get it across the mess that is set up in front of you. A jungle of an unpenetrable mess in front of you and if you hook your drive your gonna end up in the pit. Which is nothing but gravel and waste land. I blast off the tee and sure enough.... it starts drawing for the crap on the left. I knew I was screwed. Even though it felt great off the tee, where it lands is oh so important versus how it feels when it flies. So I hop in the cart to go survey the damage knowing full well I popped in right in the middle of the junk. To my surprise I find that it had actually hit some pretty hard stuff and continued forward on towards the green. I'm not in the fairway, but DAMN that was a monster. I was sitting about 65 yards out from the pin. I grabbed my trusty trouble wedge, lined it up, and let it rip out of the mid rough that it was nestled in. That ball came off the face of the club like a rocket. Strait up and right at the pin. It dropped out of the sky like a stork delivering a baby, just a nice soft plop all of 4 feet from the cup. I knew I had hit it well, but not that well. As the rest of the group I was with made their way onto the green, I just looked in amazement... I'm 4 feet from a birdie. I'm usually right at par or one over.. so a birdie for me is a rare thing. Everyone putted out and it was my turn to wrap up the hole. Reading the break, just a bit right... that's all it was... a bit right. I have nailed this put a hundred times. I cleared my practice puts out of my mind and stepped in to do the deed. Drew back my putter and the softest of all 'pops' off my putter kissed the ball to the hole... problem? It only rolled about 3 of the 4 feet. You have got to be kidding me... I'm short? I'M NEVER SHORT!!!!! I blew it. A miscue, a doink, a boff, a limp wristed swag of the stick...

I so suck... lol

oh and for the record... no short skirts were witnessed on the course. Although there was one guy with a fairly girlie wag...

Should I?

In a continuation of my retrospective look upon myself i have decided to set up a poll to determine if i should continue writing about myself. A very close friend of mine years ago told me that know one with the luck I have had over the years should ignore the fact that my memoirs would be a riot to read. So as that has been floating around my hollow skull, I have started to ask some of my readers this very question. I wouldn't necessarily write it all in the form of a book to release, but i was planning on paying tribute to the stipudity of my life in chapters right here on my blog. So, if you get a chance... vote what you think over there in the poll are to the left...

Damn you're a hot limber chick... you are a chick right?

Well, stipudity is one of those things that knows now boundaries of race, religion, or nationality. Although what they are doing isn't really stupid... It's the fact that they feel it needs to be done. Why do I envision a line of glory hole style walls with hands sticking through them checking to see if these women have dangle bags between their legs...

Olympic host Beijing has set up a sex determination lab to test female Olympic athletes suspected to be males, state media reported today.Sex testing has been routine at the Olympics and other sports events for decades, triggered by fears that male athletes sought to cheat by posing as women. Indian athlete Santhi Soundarajan was stripped of an Asian Games silver medal in 2006 after failing a gender verification test.

Apple is on it's way to taking over the world...

First the iPod, then the iMac, next the glorious Air Book... now I give you... The Air Poo!

http://www.airpoo.com/

Music that moves me...

I would rather be walking a bird... So I have been told...

Well, I have been Mr. Slacker lately on here. To be honest, I'm just not finding anything funny to me. Not sure if it’s my sense of humor that has changed or if the world is just real serious right now. I had planned on doing some research on a subject that came up on Friday, but alas... motivation got the best of me. So, instead of writing about the previous subject (you don't even want to know what it was about lol) I think I will take some time to actually write about myself...

I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family... lol couldn't resist!

Honestly. Lately thing have been lost in my endless pit of a brain, as those close to me call it. I'm trying to reach back in the corners of my mind and I’m finding myself losing memories. Not too sure where they are going. I can still describe to you the Duran Duran video that got banned from MTV back in 1982... I can here 3-4 notes from a Beatles song and tell you what it is and what album it was on... I could probably even accurately reenact the intro scenes to the T.V. show M.A.S.H. But for the life of me I can't remember much about a subject that came up recently… high school. I gave a sort of lecture a few weeks ago to a young student who has the opportunity to be anything they want to be. No joke, we are talking about one of the fine young up and coming minds in our country. I found myself basically turning this positive "pep" talk into a "do as I say, not as I do" speech. Reflecting back as I spoke to this person, I really pissed away my chances in high school.

I would never try to rank myself as one of the smart kids, or the jocks, or the "in crowd"... I was just myself. I wore cowboy boots with tore up jeans, a black OXYmorons t-shirt (which I still own) that I got from an improv troupe, and I would top it off from time to time with a hand me down sports jacket. Sickeningly, almost a Miami Vice look with less pastel... EW... shivers just thinking back on that one. I listened to everything from DRI, Skinny Puppy, and Ministry all the way to Dwight Yoakam, The Judds, or George Strait. I didn't really have one of those John Hughes labels that got slapped on all of the brat pack movie players, or at least I was unaware of one if I had. I just swam in the sea of youth, drifting from class to class. Doing what little I could do just to get by. There was no place for me in school. I refused to cut my hair, so sports were never an option. The coaches would look at me with distaste wrapped around the repeated comment, “cut it and come back!” Sure, I joined a few academic teams to compete against other schools, but to be honest… I don’t recall why. The bare minimum was just fine with me. I was quite content hitting Club FX or catching the OXYs in the dusty old theater they called home. Looking more towards the last bell or the Friday mad dash than tending to my studies. I really didn't have a vision of what I wanted to do with my life.

Looking back, the anger continues to boil. To think, the potential that we will never know, that I could have achieved. Would I change anything? No way. You see, I started reading books about projectile and astrological physics when I was about 13 or 14. I really got into it. This lead to me researching time and space theories and chaotic physics more commonly known as the chaos theory. There was a time when I had aspired to devote my life to physics... where did I lose that sight. How did I misplace that desire... I truly have no one to blame but myself. Once I got my driver’s license I became the big man. I can do anything, I’m free... nothing to bind me down. Maybe that’s how I lost it. Sad thing is, every now and then I feel a little spark. Something inside me that makes me want to fly to the nearest library to hide among the pages, burying myself in the words from the brain trust of scientists, the greatest visionaries our planet has ever known... Then my cell phone rings, an IM shows up on my screen, or my mind is jolted back to the reality that I have to be awake in a few hours to earn the daily bread. The break neck turns in my mind flashing from the now to the what could have been... Again, would I change anything? Not at all. I would lose my amazing children and my uncompromising wife... my sole energy for pressing on and reason why it is easy to forget what could have been. My passion for researching physics and mathematical problems that I lost so many years ago... that void now being filled by my "workaholic" ways. I have never known the 9 to 5 work day. I'm always early to show and late to leave. Nothing gained in the way of monetary compensation or self satisfaction, just the fact that I am unable to let go. Is this a disease? An infection of the personality that I have become? Can I be or do I need to be cured? My mind grows tired of trying to justify my ways. I am who I built myself to be. Not a better man or a lesser one. Just the molding of choices from yester year.

In reflection, to those I have hurt... I am sorry. I have no excuse, none could be created to justify my actions in the past. Moving forward, I am a better person. Changed in ways that have left scars deep inside me that I will carry for the rest of my life. Why is it the memories you wish to shed, shine bright, blinding your thoughts, but the fond recollections that allow smiles to the surface are tarnished and hidden away. I have past the point of worrying about myself, but I know that in my stumbling through life I would not change a thing. My children are my legacy... my wife is the foundation I so desperately need. I make it a point these days to try to laugh. Help others laugh with me. If I'm the joke, so be it. I don't mind. Laughter is the soother of the soul. If there is anything that I wish to instill on the people around me, it's the power of a good deep painful laugh. That would be the only exception to the heart of my speech that has now come full circle, do as I say... not as I do.

Oh and by the way, there was a waitress waiting as patiently as she could while the guy was dawdling over the breakfast menu. He says, being a smart ass, "I usually never return to a restaurant unless one of the sausages I'm served with my eggs is a match in size for my own."The waitress replied, "In that case, sir, perhaps you should be looking at the children's menu."

LOL Didn't think I could finish this on a serious note did you? :-)

Doc: It's ok, your gonna live... Check please!

I know I am pretty hard on the medical care system here in the states... but how friggin bad is it in the UK. (How bad is it?) It's so friggin bad that surgeons are given bonuses if their patients live. WTF is that all about? Thou shall not allow your patient to DIE cause the bonuses will stop? I guess its time to amend the Hippocratic oath to read "I will saw in a strait line as long as the cash is rolling in."

Surgeons are to be paid bonuses based on the number of lives they save, in radical plans being drawn up by hospitals across Britain. For the first time, they will receive performance-related pay according to the results they achieve on the operating table, with levels dependent on how well patients recover. Patients' groups said those facing surgery would be "horrified" by the proposals and questioned why doctors should be paid a premium for fulfilling their basic duty.

Time waster link of the week...

I'm serious... it will blow hours... you will never get the time back...

http://thisissand.com/

Be gone demons!! HOME RUN!!!!

In what is about the dumbest things I have heard in a while, a father in South Carolina honestly felt as though he could vanquish the homosexual thoughts out of his son with a baseball bat.

According to the Anderson County Sheriff's Office, the battering took place about 1 p.m. Sunday on P Street. During the assault, the teen's 49-year-old father yelled, cursed, swung a baseball bat, prayed and tried to “cast the demon of homosexuality out of him,” according to the teen's version of events to Deputy S.C. Weymouth, the incident report states.

Now this is where I hope sweet justice comes in to play. Please stand by for simple ChuCK's re-enactment...

:::ahem:::

Father: ummm judge...

Judge: Shut the f' up.... guilty...

Cell Mate: Bend over, your my bitch now...

Thank you, I will collect my Oscar for best screen play now...

SLAYER!!! SEPULTURA!!! MONK!!! wtf... monk?

Back in business people!

Ok, this first one to welcome me back caught my attention this morning. Nothing like a Monk laying it out like Slayer! ROCK ON!!! Is he headed to heaven or hell... you be the judge...

I'm sorry...

To my readers, I am sorry I haven't been updating. Life has taken a few interesting turns that have put me out of sorts. On top of that, in the good news department, I am taking a bit of a holiday to refresh the soul. I will try to update as soon as I return which will be in a few weeks.

OMG You killed the mellon!

Ok, is this a public safety announcement or just a reason for guys to blow shit up... you be the judge...

http://www.clickondetroit.com/

Politically incorrect link of the day...

The last one is my personal favorite Mwuhahahahahaha >:-)


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

Sex anyone? Ok, I will grab the Krylon...

It's old news, but...

Have you ever been in one of the awkward sexual moments where the rubber ducky cover doesn't really fit right? Accidentally pick up Magnum sized wraps and your more along the lines of a twiggle stick? Have no fear, the one size fits all really is the case in this spray on brand of condoms...

How does the spray-on condom work exactly? A man places his penis in a chamber. He then presses a button and a pump squirts out liquid latex through some nozzles onto the man’s penis in about 20 seconds. If 20 seconds seems like a long time to wait the good news is that the inventor is working on shortening the time to about 10 seconds.

How does the condom come off? The rubber dries on quickly after it is sprayed on and is then ready to use. When no longer in use the spray-on condom can be easily rolled off and thrown away just like a regular condom.

http://inventorspot.com/

http://www.spiegel.de/

GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLLL

...you jackass...

Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve...hmmmm....

LOL couldn't pass up sharing this one...
Pretty SFW... It's all covered up...

Rest in peace...

and give them hell up stairs George...

Shit
Piss
Fuck
Cunt
Cocksucker
Motherfucker
Tits

NSFW

Yer OUT!

By FAR one of the best catches I have seen in baseball in quite a few years... and it wasn't even a player. YOU GO GIRL!

Thank you Associated Press...

Well, this is actually old news. The AP (Associated Press) has changed what people can and can not quote from them. They are now starting up a system that makes you pay them for using quotes and linking back to their news. Oh and get this... it's per word!

• WORD FEES
• 5-25 $ 12.50
• 26-50 $ 17.50
• 51-100 $ 25.00
• 101-250 $ 50.00
• 251 and up $ 100.00

Needless to say, I don't have the cash to be sending them every time I want to brighten up someones day with a funny article. So from this point forward, no news from the AP will be used on my blog. Yes they have started to sue, they are nailing The Drudge Retort right now... Regardless of the details in the case, I will just play it safe and not deal with anything the AP puts out there until they figure out how they are going to deal with bloggers...

Put your hands up, or I will shoot myself....

I think we may have a winner in the Darwin awards this year... well at least a finalist. A young man attempting to make a home robbery in Texas yesterday shot and killed himself in the attempt. My question is, did he even have a chance to make it out of there if he didn't shoot himself first. Isn't it common knowledge that all Texans are armed?

Cameron Sands, 19, of Fort Worth kicked in the door of the house and then shot himself in the stomach as he pulled a gun out of his pants to shoot the homeowner, Grand Prairie police said. The homeowner was not injured. After Mr. Sands shot himself, he dropped the gun and ran out of the home. Police found his body around 5:30 a.m. in the driveway of the home in the 2800 block Garden Grove Road, said Lt. John Brimmer, a Grand Prairie police spokesman.

Can I rent an ATV quad-runner? How about a co-ed porn video?

Now this guys is 100% American. Looks like the little town of Allenspark, Colorado is about to get a little hotter. Mr. Mead made a simple request to open an ATV rental store, but the local Planning Commission said no way. Someone tells you no? You ask a different way, well kinda....

The controversy began when Jeff Mead wanted to open an ATV rental store there.But nearby neighbors complained about the noise and enviromental impact.Margie Patterson says Mead's clients have damaged pristine private land, a claim Mead dismisses.The Boulder County Planning Commission recently denied the businessman a special-use permit to open his business.So Mead put out a banner on his building which reads,"Patterson's XXX Porn Gallery". Mead said he's serious about opening the adult store to make money since he was denied a permit to open his rental shop.

Derrrrr ummmm duuuuuu dem BOOBIES!!!!

So the men of the world unite! We have all pretty much accepted the fact that women are smarter than men, at least I have. Guess that comes from being married to an Irish-Spaniard... anyways, science is now on our side. Neuroscientists Bram Van den Bergh , Siegfried Dewitte &, Luk Warlop have completed a studdy that basically says one thing... women in bikinis make men stupid. I wonder how much cash they dumped into this one. Hell, all you have to do is hit any warm area on the planet during spring break to find out all you need. Everywhere you turn there is some testosteroned jackass making a fool of himself just to woo the attention of a busty woman. Ohhhh I get it, this was just a way for them to get payed while looking at women...

This month’s issue of the Journal of Consumer Research features a paper titled “Bikinis Instigate Generalized Impatience in Intertemporal Choice,” which is a neuroeconomist’s (definition in a moment) way of saying that men don’t make good decisions while checking out pretty girls in bikinis.
In the “bikini” experiments, Belgian researchers conducted a series of tests on 358 young men. In one test, the men looked at images of women in bikinis or lingerie and at images of landscapes. In another, some men were given T-shirts to handle and assess while others were given bras. Another batch of men was assigned to watch a commercial featuring men running over landscapes while other guys watched a video of “hundreds of young women, dressed in bikinis running across hills, fields and beaches.”

... I think it's time for me to ask for a study grant of my own. "Female Physiology Recognition Using Tactile Acuity", think I could get that one to fly?

Damn it, didn't see that there...

and personal fav of mine... cheaters never profit lol

Great waste of time...

This is a pretty cool link for those who doodle. I know I do, didn't mean to spend 3 hours on the web site thought... oops. For the best results, drop acid 10 minutes prior to visitng the site.

http://bomomo.com/

Wii-tards unite!

Looks like the good 'ol Wii-tards are back in the news. With the recent release of the new Wii Fit game on the popular Nintendo Wii console, there has been an increase in damage to personal property. The most recent report out there is from England... Ickle... please be careful...

British women who use the Nintendo Wii Fit video game to work out have caused a total of nearly $40 million in destruction to their homes, research indicates. Women have accidentally kicked over televisions, furniture and pets while exercising in the privacy of their living rooms with the Wii, The Daily Telegraph reported Monday.About a fifth of women said they have accidentally knocked into objects in their living rooms or hurt themselves while using the Wii, a study by women's insurance company Sheila's Wheels revealed.

Don't take my word for it, there is a site dedicated to such destruction. It's a little out of date, but none the less proof is there. http://www.wiihaveaproblem.com/

I pinky swear I will be good...

OK, if this judge still has a job by next week.... justice is not only blind, but pretty friggin stupid as well...

A convicted criminal is on the loose in Clovis after escaping from the Curry County Detention Center on Thursday. Johnathon Shane May was sentenced Wednesday to five years in the Department of Corrections for the possession of methamphetamine with the intent to distribute. May told the judge he had a dentist appointment and asked if his mother could take him. The judge agreed but ordered may to return immediately after. But instead he fled in a Ford Bronco.

Damn cats...

I'm not a cat person... but these are pretty funny, not to mention they nailed how cats act :-)