Not when I was in school... and yes the creation of rock was cool...

Some of you out there have heard the personal side of my rant about how kids these days, particularly girls are a bit... on in their years compared to when I was younger. The way they dress, act, talk.... even look. I have heard all the stories from "it's due to genetically altered milk" to "I guess this is the part of Darwin's evolution theory that no one will argue with". Personally... I'm not a fan of these young ladies growing up so fast. Too many jerks and asshats out there, not to mention the sick F*CKO pervs out there just WAITING to use the line... "she was asking for it".

So, on the flip side of all that is on the up and up with our youth... I come across this gem of an article...

A packed crowd of around 1,000 teenage students – aged 14 to 19 – saw the saucy display as part of a health drive. Students videoed the dances on their mobiles. A row has now erupted at South Devon College in Paignton after the demonstration prompted a wave of complaints from teachers. The demo – held in a public area of the school – was run by Sam Remmer of pole dancing company The Art of Dance. The 32-year-old said she was invited as part of the school’s Be Healthy Week.

Oh yes... it's real...
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2186897.ece

Friggin Valentines Day....

So, I'm not a fan of the day... in all sense of the matter. Typically a pretty rough day for the 'ol Chuck, but this year there is hope. Thanks to Dynamic Pawn I know EXACTLY what to get this year! A nice semi automatic pistol...

Confused porn...

LOL NSFW due to content and some language... but made me chuckle

Shameless plug...

Some things better left alone...

Since I'm in the Super Bowl mood, I just read an article that kind of made me mad. The only thing that makes it even REMOTELY ok is that he is also a Steeler and the original star is cool with it. What is 'ol ChuCK talking about? The timeless Coke commercial with the All-Time great, Mean Joe Green. This was one of those commercials that set the bar for marketing THAT much higher. Well, I guess the whole world will have to wait to see if Troy Polamalu does this any justice...

For your viewing pleasure...

The original...



The teaser for the new one...

Super Bowl tickets only for OMG YOU TOOK MY KIDNEY!

I'm a football fan. (for my international readers... not that version of football with tiny boy shorts and a round checker boarded ball) I love it. I miss playing it... and I can't get enough of it on T.V. First off, GO AFC! Notice I said AFC.... although my Texans will not be there anytime soon, I will however support the division. Much like the National League in baseball... but that's for my summer time rants. So, back to my original point. The Super Bowl has become an institution of American life. T.V. sales, snack food booms, and countless people clearing space in their houses so nothing gets broken... THEN there are the lucky 65,857 people... plus or minus a few... that will actually be there when it happens at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa. I myself, will not be there. I know... many of you are wondering HOW the mighty ChuCK couldn't be at such an event... Well, it boils down to time. But then again... it could have something to do with the nose bleed seats going for $1,600 a pop. Now we all know I would be more than happy to drop the $5,000 -$9,000 for 50 yard sideline seats... no problem. Yea right... So I get that this is THE game. The big momma. There is none higher at any level of football. The NFL even has gag orders on all media outlets that they can't use the words "Super Bowl" unless they sign a contract with all kinds of clauses. Hell, even on the radio they outright said "since we can't say it, the BIG GAME party will be at..." how sad is that... Currently the projections put ticket sales totaling around $57 million, advertising at around $275 million, and oh AND they are still bitching that they will fall short of their goals by around $50 million. OH me oh FRIGGIN my... they aren't making enough money. So how bad is it really hitting the NFL if some radio station says the words "Super Bowl"? What if they broke it up... something along the lines of "the Super event that happens to be played only once a year that uses the reference of a eating surface called a Bowl". Does that work? I don't think it will break the bank for them... Hell, I think my budget, in this wonderful economy we have here, is about $28.75. Just enough for chips, beer, and MAYBE oh just MAYBE some bratwurst... if it's on sale. You know what... somewhere along the line I lost completely what I was talking about... oh well...

Go AFC..
You SUCK NFC...
and this Super Bowl shit is getting WAY too damn expensive...

Damn that's a shitload of work...

The exact amount of a "shitload" varies widely between context and culture. Here is the breakdown:
Standard English Shitload = 1007
Metric Shitload = 10000
Baker's Shitload = 1008
Binary Shitload = 1024

Of course there's the matter of how many shitloads in a Assload, or a fuckload:
Standard English: Fuckload = 4 Assloads = 8 Shitloads
Metric: Fuckload = 10 Assloads = 100 Shitloads
Baker's: Fuckload = 5 Assloads = 9 Shitloads
Binary: Fuckload = 1024 Assloads = 1048576 Shitloads


(borrowed from another site... can't remember where...)

Counters Pina Colada

Ok, bear with me on this one... since we are on the subject of drinking until morale is better.... First off, I am not a doctor. I'm not a chef, nor am I a bartender. SOOOOOooo keep all of that in mind when you read all of this.

I started a mission a while back to make a sugar free (or as much as possible) Pina Colada for my sister in-law. In my search, I have been able to reduce the sugars in my Pina Colada to all natural and alcohol sugars. These sugars are much easier for the body to absorb, making this drink as close to “sugar-safe” for you or your diabetic and even dieting friends. So if you use the specific ingredients that I have found, you should be good. Now everyone is different and you should know your own limits. Don’t in anyway expect this to be the magic mix, it just happens to be the best that I have been able to put together in my search.

Complete list of ingredients to make approx 3 batches in the ‘ol blender, just enough to polish off the bottle of rum. Now I don’t condone getting all liquored up by yourself, but if you’re serving a group this will go fast.

1 Bottle of Cruzan Coconut Rum (Captain Morgan’s Parrots Bay is also very good in this mix, but I have found that Cruzan has a smoother taste in the blend)
3 13.5 oz cans Port Arthur Coconut Milk
3 6 oz cans of Dole Pineapple Juice
1 half gallon of Blue Bell “No Sugar Added” Vanilla Bean Ice Cream
Enough ice to get the job done


2 cups of ice
½ cup Dole Pineapple Juice
1 cup Port Arthur Coconut Milk
1 cup Cruzan Coconut Rum
1-½ cup of Blue Bell “No Sugar Added” Vanilla Bean Ice Cream


Add ice (preferred chopped or in small cubes) then add all liquid ingredients into the blender. Blend ingredients down for approx 15-20 seconds. Then add the 1-½ cup of Blue Bell “No Sugar Added” Vanilla Bean Ice Cream. Blend for another 30-40 seconds or until desired consistency is met. The ice cream really ties all of it together, making the drink more like a smoothie rather than a gritty traditional ice drink. To add a bit of flair you can even slice some fresh strawberries or add mint leaves and fan them across the top to bring some color to it. Any way you like it, the drink should go down just fine.

Enjoy!

***** OFFICIAL NOTICE *****

THE DRINKING WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES!

-That is all...

Leave the jokes to the professionals...

There is a fine line between a comedic genius and a dumbass. With that being said... the ones being paid to be funny.... NOT on the dumbass list. Oh sure, you can be funny... AND a dumbass... (see Jim Carrey)... but... when you are in a position as one of the most (formerly now, you lost points in my book) respected people in your industry and we are facing some of the most difficult financial times the planet has ever seen... jokes are not allowed. No, not even at a party. No, not even "I just flew in and boy are my arms tired". Where am I going with this? Well... let me show you...

ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson on Wednesday was at a charity event in Dallas (what? Dallas has something to do with oil?) and made the comment, oh and I FRIGGIN quote... "You mean (that) they're too low?" in reference to gas prices while speaking to a reporter. You have got to be kidding me. That's like telling Helen Keller to LOOK and LISTEN to Cirque du Soleil because it is AMAZING... then fading into the classic... ohhhhh my bad. Let me get this strait you pompous jackass of a business man... You made well over $5 mil last year, you're the CEO of THE largest publicly traded oil company, AND I'm willing to put good money down that the electric bill for your house last month is my annual income... oh and not to mention these "record" earnings that keep getting posted... So it's ok to say gas prices are "too low" AT A FRIGGIN CHARITY EVENT! Wow... I guess charity and compassion are separate financial books on your pile of ledgers. Guess which one needs an audit...

So what to do with such an asshat as this? Well, nothing people. As I always say... you have to take it in the Bo Bo because PEOPLE like this run the joint. I'm getting all misty... I'm so proud of the human race...

If you must read it for yourself...
http://cbs11tv.com/business/gas.prices.exxon.2.914067.html