(This will be a mini-series, so hang in there)
I was a bit out of sorts last night, so being in an unstable mind I read a few of what are considered the greatest historical documents this country supposedly has. I’m not talking about the dollar menu at McDonalds or the latest misguided information in the New York Times. (like any one reads off of paper these days anyways) I’m talking about the Declaration of Independence and The Constitution. So as I’m reading these documents, I find my mind wandering off. The problem is, I tend to view everything with a cynical eye. If you REALLY think about it… pretty much everything on this planet has a funny spin on it. Not to mention, when I read things there is this really cool teleprompter that shows up in my head to help me understand. So, here we go… the preamble of The Constitution of the United States of America.
We the People of the United States. Ok, let’s take a look at that. We the people huh? This is only reserved for those who get the bar-coded stamp of numbers that are in a system controlled by the government. You know, the suits on the hill that make up the people? The people of “We” were forgotten years ago.
In Order to form a more perfect Union. Perfect in the eyes of the elitist politicians and business owners that control our every waking existence from the brand on the shelves to when we can hunt for food…. Yea that sounds perfect to me.
Establish Justice. This is where I hear the music on the other end of the phone in between those heartfelt messages… I’m sorry, the “eye for an eye” system is busy right now, please hold. Your call is important enough to us to ignore the real problems at home while we deal with another country’s issue.
Insure domestic Tranquility. The big giant head says “Drink the cool-aid & watch your cable, all is good.”
Provide for the common defense. Well, before we can provide for the common defense we must first spend money on pet projects for screws and hinges made in a foreign country, fund a conflict on every continent for the sake of great CNN coverage, and enjoy dinner with the finest lobbyist on Capitol Hill. Once this is all taken care of, I’m sure the people of “We” are next in line…
Promote the general Welfare. Oh are you in need? Sorry, we already spent that money in a country that wasn’t even on the map until a satellite news crew showed up. Your poor conditions in rural America are not that bad… you’re an American right? Be happy, eat your friggin cheese. Ignore the poverty in our own country, we have well funded systems to help everyone. ::: insert cricket sounds here:::
And secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity. This one here is my personal favorite… pay your taxes you sheep of America. Our representative on the hill has a Bentley that needs new tires. Your children will thank the all mighty man when they learn to skip a meal. Makes them tough and appreciate how good it is here.
Do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. Forcing views down our throat while we gag on the hand that they wipe their ass with… yum.
…but I digress, this is just the preamble of The Constitution. 1787 was a couple of years ago. How are we to expect that the general public would even want to know about it, much less understand why it was written in the first place... So let’s move along kids. We are walking, were walking, were walking aaaaannnd stop. Here are the Amendments of the Constitution... (Stay tuned)
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