Now THATS marketing...

according to the UPI (United Press International) of London, the RAF has started a new marketing campain... rubbers. :-) The RAF has begun a mass mailing operation to raise awareness about how the RAF arent a bunch of stiffs or are they...(pun might have actually been intended)

"A total of 20,000 prophylactics are being mailed in a recruitment drive,
The Sun reports. They're mounted on cards with the instruction "Apply to weapon
when on maneuvers.""

Included on the card are several other handy uses for the 'ol pole
wrapper... one can only image. gotta love the brits :-)

Inspirational lyrics pt.8

"Okay lets buzz a while
A buzz buzz (buzz buzz)
A buzz buzz (buzz buzz)
A buzz buzz (buzz buzz)
A buzz buzz (buzz buzz)"

- James Moore (aka Slim Harpo), I'm a King Bee

Yes... this is a true story...

no offense to those in the 'help desk' world... i know what it's like. problem is, smacktards like this guy are what ruin it for the ones who really can help and know what the hell they are doing. though, i must admit, it was fun as well...
to fill in the back story, i have an XP x64 system that i have been trying to get printer drivers installed for a while. the trick is... every link on HP's site was dead or timesout at the time of this call. so, for your enjoyment... here are a few snippets from our hour long chat...

Alfred: Chuck, are you able to see the Download button?

Chuck Amuck: yes... I can get to the site...
Chuck Amuck: but the ftp location, the location of the file, times out

Alfred: Okay. Please try with this location.
Alfred: .
Alfred: Are we still connected online?

Chuck Amuck: yes we are

Alfred: Okay.
Alfred: Are you able to download the software?

Chuck Amuck: no I am not... that’s the whole point
Chuck Amuck: the link times out
Chuck Amuck: or do you not understand timeouts

Alfred: I understand your concern.

Chuck Amuck: this has been fun and all...
Chuck Amuck: but I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get anywhere with this

Alfred: I realize how testing the situation can be; please be assured I will do my best to resolve the issue.

Chuck Amuck: how testing the situation can be?
Chuck Amuck: you mean frustrating...
Chuck Amuck: unless testing has taken on a whole new meaning I am unaware of

Alfred: Thanks for being online.

Chuck Amuck: not a problem, I enjoy being online

Alfred: Chuck, please try to download any other application.

Chuck Amuck: well, I download my updates all the time... does that count?
Chuck Amuck: I downloaded a patch for one of my games this morning, does that count?

Alfred: Let us delete all the temporary files in the C drive.

Chuck Amuck: ok, which temp directories?
Chuck Amuck: ... I have several
Chuck Amuck: ...and again I pose the statement... this has nothing to do with my ability to download

Alfred: To isolate the issue we have to delete all the temp files and disable the antivirus and firewall.

Chuck Amuck: as entertaining as this is, this is where I will draw the line.
Chuck Amuck: I’m not opening up my machine in that fashion
Chuck Amuck: considering I have no issues downloading from anywhere else
Chuck Amuck: ok, well it’s been fun... thank you for your time
Chuck Amuck: I’m just going to pick up a Canon. I was able to download their drivers while we were chatting.
Chuck Amuck: again, thank you for your time

Alfred: You are most welcome.


wow... i hope he doesnt breed....

Old School...

So I was digging through my mountain of software, floppies, and mystery sheets of paper when I can across my copy of Bards Tale. I'm not talking any re-hash or new flashy opengl version... I'm talking the original from Interplay... when they were the new boys on the software block. Ahhh yes... the year was 1985... Back to the Future was on top of the box offices, Mikhail Gorbachev just came into power in Russia, and good 'ol Ronnie was running the show. It just doesn't get any better than that. So anyways, I decided to see if I could install the game... and low and behold after cramming that whole 669kb of data onto my machine, I was soon basking in the glow of a grand CGA game. A game that stole many hours of my life that I will never get back. I soon realized that my brain was a bit unequipped to handle the game like it used to.... that's not to say I'm very good with the door knobs of today as well, but that's a story for another time. I spent about 2 hours wandering around the town of Skara Brae. In that time my head was slowly tilting to the left in my best pose as a confused puppy... what in the hell am I doing playing this damn game. Yet AGAIN Bard's Tale was stealing my life away like an electronic drug, slowly sucking the neurons right out of the 'ol brain pan. It makes me wonder.... If I didn't spend any time at all hammering away on a keyboard, all that time trying to defeat the evil wizard Mangar the Dark, or killing little dots and eating ghosts in Pac-man, what the hell would I have turned out like? Did all those games wreck my brain? Was it an overdose of Captain Kangaroo? Were Bert and Ernie really gay lovers? I guess we will never know...

It's the little things...

...that piss me off. time, time has to be the biggest offender of the pissing off of ChuCK. i need more of it. just a little. i need ChuCK time. i need the days to be 36 hours long, i need work shifts to be 12 hours long, i need smoke breaks to be longer than 5 minutes, i need some time for myself to figure out... brb getting called...

30 minutes

isnt it friggin amazing how 30 minutes can make a difference... 30 lousy minutes... a half an hour... try it some time. go somewhere 30 minutes early, get there 30 minutes late... hell wake up 30 minutes early, watch how that mind screws you for the day.

Phones...

the electronic leash has gone to far. there should be a national SHUT OFF YOUR FRIGGIN PHONE day.

Crap like this...

This is a sure friggin sign that reporters have WAY too much damn time on their hands...

"NEW DELHI - Condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men as their penises fall short of what manufacturers had anticipated, an Indian study has found."
- Reuters

...or do i for posting it...

A lesson in stipudity... (yes i did that intentionally)

well, i learned a valuable lesson today playing an online game...

i had just capped a flag and had no real place to run so i chose the nearest building. the problem with this is that it was very small... two floors, but DAMN small. my second problem was that the person who knew i was there, was a fine shooter by the name of DaJackal. so i scampered my way up the ladder like my hair was on fire and my ass was a catchin just to find that i couldnt jump out the window to get away. i was trapped. now Jackal, being the professional soldier he is took a quick peek up the ladder at me just enough to see me and enjoy a round from my gun zing just past his head. this is where it gets interesting... i had 6 clips left in my Kar, he was fully loaded with the sniper rifle cause he had just spawned. he then proceeds to put me in a dance all around the damn room shooting strait up at me through the floor. being the gentleman that i am, i obliged by returning fire down through the floor back at him. so imagine two fools using clip after clip, neither one of us having nades, shooting through the floor, or in his case the roof, dancing around the joint like we were putting on a show. no one bothered to help either one of us. i finally made it down stairs and we proceeded to miss each other some more. i know i went through 5 clips during this ordeal only to get shot in the back by some passer by as we chased each other out of this bullet ridden closet.

moral of the story? don’t under estimate the stupidity of two grown men with high powered rifles, spending several minutes to turn a building into swiss cheese with close to 50 rounds of ammo spent and not hit each other ONCE! NOT ONCE! some skills eh? i wish i could have recorded this one...

Inspirational lyrics pt.7

"What's-a matter you, hey, gotta no respect
What-a you t'ink you do, why you look-a so sad
It's-a not so bad, It's-a nice-a place
Ah, shaddap you face"

- Joe Dolce, Shaddap You Face